I write to you with a very heavy heart. I feel guilty but I cannot bring myself to say the noble word “sorry”.I'M BEING THREATENED BY SMALL HOUSE

I am a mother of three and happily married. All my children are grown up, I have a set of twin boys and a daughter.When I married my husband he had just lost his wife through a bus crash, their son a two-year-old then had survived. My husband got so attached to this boy and it made me very jealous.

I want to pour out to you Mai Chisamba, ndashaya zororo.

I ill-treated this child, beating him up, feeding him on leftovers instead of proper meals when his father was away. I used to create and lie about his behaviour to his father and most of the time he got punished for things he never did. I can say akatambudzika Thomas. He can write a book about his life if he so wishes.

Despite all this he was unstoppable, he excelled in whatever he did be it at school or sport. I made sure he was never in touch with people from his mother’s side ndichinyepera kuroiwa kana vambomutora.
To cut a long sad story short, this boy we are talking about has really done well, he holds a masters degree and is a very prosperous and humble businessman. I have prayed for forgiveness but I still feel empty. As we speak he bought a new twin cab for my birthday, the card was written “to the best mum in the world”.

Chengetero yaanoita mhuri yangu nababa ndizvo zviri kundinyadzisa. He speaks highly of me, takabviswa kughetto we now stay in a posh four-bedroomed house he bought for us. I know he remembers the way I brought him up, I was mean and cruel. Please help me, how do I rub this past? What do I do? I can’t move on I feel so ashamed.

MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS
Thank you for reading my column and for writing in. Wow! It takes a lot of courage to write such a testimony. As usual we protect the identities of our writers. I read your letter with tears in my eyes.

I lost my dear mother when I was a teenager so I know how it feels to grow up without one’s mum. It’s
sad that instead of embracing this poor boy who had survived the bus crash that took his mother away from him you made the situation worse. I don’t want to dwell on the negatives because the reason for your letter is how do you bury the past and move on. I am happy that you have a conscience although it took some years to be operational.

The truth about life is you cannot press down a great man or woman for some are born with greatness like Thomas. I also want to say thank you for bringing this boy up, remember his mother left him when he was only two. Although you were not the best mum you let him go through school – that is commendable.

My first advice is take courage and say sorry to your stepson, this will be the beginning of the healing process, do this in the presence of his father. Pouring out will not be easy. Taking Thomas back that memory lane is hard but it will set you free. You say you feel empty even after praying for yourself, engage some prayer warriors like your pastor, elders, etcetera and organise some prayer sessions, ko uchagotya kusviba iwe wakateya marihwa murutsva here?

Lastly get a professional counsellor who will talk to you and help close this gloomy chapter of your life. Continue to pray sincerely for your guilty conscience kubata kwaMwari kunogadzirisa. Thank you for trusting me with your testimony. Keep me updated. I wish you all the best.

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